Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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