So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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