He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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