So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
