..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Rumble strips road head = magical
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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