So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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