Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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