they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
