sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
