So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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