My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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