is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
