oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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