i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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