I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
