Nicole vs. Life
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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