party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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