everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
