So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
