So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
