Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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