I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize