Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
