sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
40s are totally the cure
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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