i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize