3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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