oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
