honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
