my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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