Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
OPIZZABONMYDICK
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
