"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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