So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
