Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize