How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
