They should really pass out barf bags in church
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
