You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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