90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
