Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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