You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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