just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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