If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
