I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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