when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
