worst night to have a conscience
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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