You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
