so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
