new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
