Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
