well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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