If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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