Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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