it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
