Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
