what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
