I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
