Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
