question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
