brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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