did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
