I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
