So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
