1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
