I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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